How to handle success and failure

Everyone has dreams. We all gallop to fulfill them. And in the way we meet two things; success and failure. Human nature is to be cheerful in success and depressed in failure. It may be possible that our journey may be interrupted at certain point due to them. We may finish there and say, “It’s enough ! I can’t do any more !”

But the core essence of life is: Go on. A few achieve and a few quit. But the important thing that should not be forgotten is: Moving on. We can not stop anywhere. The journey should not be ended up. Do not let success get to your head; do not let failure get to your heart. Don’t give up; just sail on.

But how can it be possible ? When we succeed, we are jovial; when we fail, we are miserable. When we succeed, we slow down; when we fail, we quit. Moving on doesn’t mean not being jolly or gloomy; but not letting own self stuck there.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.”

~ Winston Churchill

So here is an opportunity to learn: how to deal with a success or a failure ? How to grow in any situation ? We must be able to handle both sides of life. Because they should not be the hurdles but the stepping stones in life. We must learn how to make both beneficial for growth. And one who is able to handle them in proper way, can be an unbeatable and an unstoppable.

(1) Failure :

When we get failure as a result, we feel defeated. We get dejected and depressed. Disappointment and despondency lead us to misery. We blame and complain. We run away from our responsibility by giving an excuse. We may cry also. These all are reactions; instead of all we can respond. To upbeat, foremost things to do are facing and accepting, learning and growing.

(a) Face and accept :

We get disturbed and deny. Instead of escaping, face it and accept it by heart. If I have a failure; say boldly that yes I failed. Nothing is worse or wrong in it. First we must eradicate ill feeling of being failure. Once I failed it doesn’t mean that I have failed in life. Who tries; he fails. It is as normal as being out in a game. So face and accept it boldly.

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”

~ Albert Einstein

“I have not failed; I’ve just found 10000 ways that won’t work.”

~ Thomas Edition

“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing an enthusiasm.”

~ Winston Churchill

(b) Learn and grow :

If we think in a positive way, failure can be a blessing. When I analyse and rectify what is wrong, it becomes a way to success. So failure is success if we learn from it. In real sense failure is success turned inside out. What I am becoming from inside that is most important. Failure improves and strengthens us from within. As stone is getting shaped by removing undesired portion; I am also getting shaped. A new self will be revealed after the process.

“Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more wisely.”

~ Henry Ford

“The season of failure is the best time for sowing the seeds of success.”

~ Paramahansa Yogananda

“Don’t read success stories, you will only get a message. Read failure stories, you will get some ideas to get success.”

~ Abdul Kalam

(2) Success :

Perhaps there may not be anyone who does not gay in success. Everyone likes it and relish in it. Sometimes we slow down after success. Sometimes it boosts ego as well. It serves as an intoxication. “I am great and others are small creatures.” We may play in self flattery. We may become a drowsy or a sluggish. We may say, “I have achieved all. It’s enough now !” Don’t let it be a success fever. We can enjoy and decide a new goal. We can be thankful and give a hand to a needy.

(a) Be happy and decide :

Definitely we should enjoy success; but without losing a heart. I must temper my joy. It should not intoxicate and boost my ego. Be in a flow instead of being overflow. Success should pour enthusiasm and endeavour. It should increase speed as well. After acquiring one goal, the other one is waiting for me. If I can win one, why not many others. Infinite is the journey.    

(b) Be thankful and give :

None can achieve success without support. Never forget that we all are inter linked. Always be thankful for who has helped to reach at the top. When fruits are ripen they bow down. Being polite and tender is the real result of success. And giving hand to a shipwrecked brother, would be the noble act.

(3) How do I consider life ?

My own idea about life carries a major attention. Instead of having unworthy attitude, we can cultivate worthy one. Luminary illumines while melancholy torments.    

(a) Life is a game; play it.

Suppose I am a batsman and life is bowling. None is there in fielding. Only me the batsman and life is bowling. What would I do if a ball is missed ? Shall I throw a bat and quit ? Shall I commit suicide ? What shall I do ? If I miss a ball it doesn’t matter too much. Just keep on batting. A very next ball is coming. Unless and until I leave the ground; I can’t be defeated. Winners never quit and quitters never win.

(b) Life is a challenge; meet it.

Have we ever heard about a hurdle race ? Have we ever seen or experienced an adventure sport ? It gives a message with fun that life is full of obstacles. Even having barriers is the real fun of the game. If we obsolete difficulties; imagine what the enjoyment would be ! Life would be tasteless. Real life challenges make life meaningful. They are opportunities. When we meet them boldly; we learn something new.

(c) Life is a struggle; fight it.

Struggle is the thing which makes us alive. Without struggle life would be dead. We need to nurture the fighting spirit within. “I am a fighter ! Come what may ! I can fight !” That is the undercurrent which makes the way in even great odds. Doom spirit surely loses. None can beat firing will. Undaunted determination should be infused within.

Life's battles don't always go

To the stronger or faster man,

But soon or late the man who wins

Is the man WHO THINKS HE CAN !

~ Walter D. Wintle

(4) Gratitude and faith :

Ask own self; why me ? Of course not in grumble but in grace. There must be someone behind the scene. If I think in this way, I will be able to reveal Almighty's hand behind it.

આ લાંબા લાંબા મારગ પર કંઈ કંકર કંટક આવે છે.
બેચેન બનાવી દેનારી કંઈ લાખ ઉપાધિ આવે છે.
આ સર્વ બલાઓ ઊપરથી કંઈ અમથી અમથી ના આવે.
બંદાની સાથે અલ્લાહ ને કંઈ મહોબ્બત જેવું લાગે છે.

When I can reveal God’s love behind every happening; life would be lovable. He loves us and caring for us by giving a success and a failure. Just imagine, after passing through these all what a mighty persona I will be ! I will be unstoppable and unbeatable !

When we have to nail a tack, by one hand we hold it and by other one we hammer. So petting and slapping both are necessary. That is called process.

God is omnipotent and omniscient. He is not against us and we are not alone; he resides within us all and being with us in every situation. Definitely he has some plan for everyone. It may seems to be a chaos; but believe; it’s not. I may not be able to make it out. But truly it’s harmony in all. Have full faith in self and in God. He never ruins us.

(5) Philosophy of Bhagvad Gita :

कर्मण्येवाधिकारस्ते मा फलेषु कदाचन।

मा कर्मफलहेतुर्भूर्मा ते सङ्गोऽस्त्वकर्मणि।।2.47।।

कर्तव्यकर्म करनेमें ही तेरा अधिकार है फलोंमें कभी नहीं। अतः तू कर्मफलका हेतु भी मत बन और तेरी अकर्मण्यतामें भी आसक्ति न हो।

We have the right to work only but never to its fruits. Let not the fruits of action be our motive, nor let our attachment be to inaction.

We have only efforts in hand. Efforts without faith lead us to pessimism. Put a forth with unfaltering faith and nurture gratitude for results. In this way we can have peace of mind whatever may be the result.

Without efforts we can not achieve; don’t desire anything free. Efforts are never in vain; don't despair. It may take its own time, but surely soon or late what I have done will return to me in one or other way.

“Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory.”

~ Mahatma Gandhi

योगस्थः कुरु कर्माणि सङ्गं त्यक्त्वा धनञ्जय।

सिद्ध्यसिद्ध्योः समो भूत्वा समत्वं योग उच्यते।।2.48।।

हे धनञ्जय! तू आसक्तिका त्याग करके सिद्धि-असिद्धिमें सम होकर योगमें स्थित हुआ कर्मोंको कर; क्योंकि समत्व ही योग कहा जाता है ।

Perform action, O Arjuna, being steadfast in Yoga, abandoning attachment and balanced in success and failure. Evenness of mind is called Yoga.

Either it is success or failure, When I accept and cherish, both become blessings. In success I am getting a boost of zeal and in failure I am getting a boost of strength. I can use both of them for my growth.

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”

~ Oliver Goldsmith

Being grateful and faithful by heart; is the real resolution. It is like an inner spring, however an autumn outside would be ! I can’t explain this feeling in words. Just try it !

A few gems from the treasure of wisdom...

“Do not judge by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

~ Nelson Mandela

“Never stop dreaming, never stop believing, never give up, never stop trying, and never stop learning.”

~ Roy T. Bennett

“If you fail, never give up because F.A.I.L. means "first Attempt In Learning". End is not the end, in fact E.N.D. means "Effort Never Dies". If you get No as an answer, remember N.O. means "Next Opportunity". So Let's be positive.

~ Abdul Kalam

*****

Let me not crave in anxious fear to be saved
but hope for the patience to win my freedom.
Grant that I may not be a coward,
feeling Your mercy in my success alone;
But let me find the grasp of Your hand in my failure.

~ Rabindranath Tagore

*****

लहरों से डर कर नौका पार नहीं होती

कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती

असफलता एक चुनौती है, स्वीकार करो

क्या कमी रह गई, देखो और सुधार करो

जब तक न सफल हो, नींद चैन को त्यागो तुम

संघर्ष का मैदान छोड़ मत भागो तुम

कुछ किये बिना ही जय जय कार नहीं होती

कोशिश करने वालों की हार नहीं होती

~ हरिवंशराय बच्चन  

*****

Behind him lay the gray Azores,

Behind the Gates of Hercules;

Before him not the ghost of shores,

Before him only shoreless seas.

The good mate said: "Now we must pray,

For lo! the very stars are gone.

Brave Admiral, speak, what shall I say?"

"Why, say, 'Sail on! sail on! and on!' "

Then pale and worn, he kept his deck,

And peered through darkness. Ah, that night

Of all dark nights! And then a speck --

A light! a light! at last a light!

It grew, a starlit flag unfurled!

It grew to be Time's burst of dawn.

He gained a world; he gave that world

Its grandest lesson: "On! sail on!"

~ Joaquin Miller

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.”

~ Truman Capote

“Losers quit when they fail. Winners fail until they succeed.”

~ Robert Kiyosaki